Saturday, January 11, 2014

New Year's Tips and Encouragement: Part Second

Part Second is about REST.  This past Sunday, my pastor started a series entitled "The Year of the Sheep Shepherd." Something that struck me (because it is something I have trouble with) were his words on the Value of Rest.  I am not good with resting and relaxing.  I am wont to say that mothers don't truly get vacation because they still have to do their jobs even when the family is on vacation.  I also struggle because I come from a family of hard workers, and I never want anyone to say I am lazy.  So I am apt to be on the drive from early in the morning until after the kids go to bed; some of the only times I sit are for my devotions in the morning and perhaps at meals.  Taking more time to rest is a struggle because I feel as if I'm not useful if I'm not going full tilt all day long.

However, God gave us the Sabbath day and promised a Sabbath rest for a reason.  Humans can't keep up a ninety-to-nothing pace without damage to our bodies and souls.  God rested on the seventh day to give us an example, seeing as I doubt He actually gets tired like we do.  More importantly, He rested BEFORE mankind fell into sin.  So rest is not something needed because of sin in the world.

Americans are chronically busy and chronically sleep-deprived.  Why?  I can think of some reasons without doing any studies.  We want more and more.  We want more things, so we work earlier and later.  We want our kids to be more involved, so we sign them up for every sport and club imaginable (here we should probably start looking at why we do this--for us or for them?).  We don't want to say "no" to anyone, so we take on more than we can handle.  We feel guilty if we don't answer work emails twenty-four hours a day, so we keep our phones on non-stop.  (In passing, when I hear phones go off in church, I wonder why it is that we can't keep the wretched things off for two hours each week.)  We despise quiet because then we might just have to listen to ourselves in the stillness or even worse, listen for the voice of God.

So be encouraged.  If you aren't resting, you aren't alone.  But we all need it, so here are some things that have been useful to me.

First, I've had to tell myself that is alright if I am not a busy bee for every moment of the day.  I've read Scripture passages like Genesis 2 when God rested, Leviticus 25 where God commands that the land itself be allowed to rest for a year,  Psalm 23, where God provides us rest, or Hebrews 3 and 4 where God speaks of the Sabbath rest He will provide His people.  I still have to read them over and over and remember that the God who established resting periods will not shoot lightning at me because I took some time to relax my body and mind.

Second, I try to shut off the phone and the TV an hour or so before I want to go to sleep.  (NOTE:  this does not mean shut it off at 11:00 p.m. when you need to be up at 6:00 a.m.  Humans need about seven to eight hours of sleep to be functional, so studies say, but, paraphrasing Brian Williams of NBC, if you don't like that study, just wait; another you like better will come. So if you need to be up at 6:00 a.m., turn off everything electronic around 9:00 p.m.  Will you miss your TV shows?  Probably so, but you can either record them, or better yet, you will realize how little you actually need the society of bachelors, bachelorettes, survivors, crime scene investigators, lawyers, various so-called comics, and pretty much any "reality" show stars.)  I have little I like to watch anymore, and the world hasn't come to an end.  I shut off my computer around dinner time.  Those of you who have jobs where the boss wants you on call all the time have a harder decision, and you are the one to make that decision.  Do you want to be on call?  Do you need to be on call or has the boss just come to expect it?  You have to take into account various factors, including your health, your family, and how kind your boss is in deciding how to handle this.

Third, I try to have somewhat of a schedule for when I do things.  Ma Ingalls from the Little House books by Laura Ingalls Wilder used to say that every day had its proper work.  So I try to spread out my work onto different days.  I clean certain parts of the house different days; I do laundry of sheets and towels one day; I do clothing laundry on another day; I bake on another day.  Each day has its own regular work, too, like schoolwork with my daughter, cooking, and washing dishes, but spreading out the other chores gives regularity and helps me not crowd everything on one day.  This also helps me not to over-schedule each day.  That way I can handle any "rabbit trails" that occur.

Fourth, I try to carve out about 10-20 minutes in the mid to late afternoon where I sit down, have a cup of tea, read a book or a magazine, or just sit.  That doesn't always happen, but when I do, I am less cranky and in a better mood by the time my husband comes home from work and I'm energized for the evening work ahead.  You might have to convince your children that you need this time, but it won't hurt them to amuse themselves for once.

So, relax, have a cup of tea, smell the roses, enjoy the life God has given you.


Thursday, January 2, 2014

New Year's Tips and Encouragement: Part First

This New Year, I will be writing a series of encouragement and tips for women and/or Christian women and/or wives and/or mothers and/or homeschooling mothers and/or working mothers and/or grandmothers and/or any other women with any vocation.

For those of you who aren't Christians (which I will define as believers in the One Lord and Savior Jesus Christ as the only way to heaven and the only means of forgiveness of sin and the only means of right standing before God), I encourage you to think about this.  The new year is a good time for looking over your life and asking questions.  Find a church and talk to someone there with whom you can discuss this.  Here is a link to the Presbyterian Church in America church directory search as a start in finding a church.  

For those of you who are Christians, I encourage you, if you don't already, to carve out time to be with the Lord in the Word and prayer.  Many of you are mothers; some of you stay at home with your children; some of you homeschool; some of you work.  I know the difficulties of finding time for this, but I have found in my own life that this is vital.  Several years ago, the church I was attending started a ladies' morning Bible Study.  Since I was working part-time then, I could attend.  Those years changed so much in my life.  I began to see how much I'd been missing.  Sure, I read my Bible each night before bed, but this study time, this time with other women, some older than me who were Spiritual Mothers to me, gave me a hunger to know God better.  The more study I did, the more I wanted to do.  I missed the times when we did not meet.  Now I live far away from that church, so I cannot attend the Bible study.  But the legacy they left was a hunger for God and His Word, a new understanding of being God's true woman and a desire to be so, (as well as many good friends.)  

I have never been into devotional-type books, but having been introduced to some at Bible study, here are a few I have read and like.  Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World by Joanna Weaver; Treasures of Encouragement by Sharon W. Betters; Whiter than Snow, Paul David Tripp; Prayers of the Bible by Susan Hunt; Women of Courage by Debra Evans; Daring to Draw Near by John White; The True Vine by Andrew Murray.  These are not substitutes for reading the Word of God, but they can be very helpful in keeping one's day and life sane and spiritually productive.

I can hear some of you saying, "Where do I find the time?  I am married with small children, too much work, and too much filling my life."  I will say as Mr. Scott said in Star Trek: Generations, "If something's important to you, you make the time."  I will also note the words of an old song called "The Wedding Banquet" by Sister Miriam Therese, Medical Mission Sisters.  "I cannot come to the banquet, don't trouble me now. I have married a wife. I have bought me a cow.  I have fields and commitments that cost a pretty sum.  Pray hold me excused, I cannot come."  Most of us don't have fields and cows, but we could sing the song like this:   "I cannot come to the banquet, don't trouble me now.  I have emails to answer and a meeting in an hour.  I have a Smartphone and tablet and clients to be won. Pray hold me excused I cannot come."  OR "I cannot come to the banquet, don't trouble me now.  I have ESPN, CSI, and Jack Bauer.  I have American Idol and Survivor just for fun.  Pray hold me excused I cannot come."  

We have lots of time in our 24-hour day; we just have to determine what the priorities are.  I'm no expert at prioritizing, but I have come to understand that if I don't take time for God, my life just doesn't work right.  Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World has many and much better ideas than I have, so pick up a copy of that and read it.  I will tell you what has worked for me.  First, I do try to get up and use what time I can before I get the kids up.  I pray while walking or doing some other form of exercise. Second, I don't have a lot of TV shows that I watch.  I have a routine for my evenings (my friend E will laugh because she knows it's true and teases me) that winds me down to be ready to sleep, and this includes Bible reading while I stretch the muscles that have tightened up after a long day of running after kids, cooking, cleaning, writing, and many other tasks.  I write in a journal little prayers or thoughts to God based on the day's Bible reading or something that happened during the day.  This may not work for you, but I stress that finding something that works is the most important thing you can do.  An in-law once asked me my thoughts for dealing with family problems.  I am not a therapist.  My main advice was work on your relationship with God.  All else will fall into place.

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Kids' Rules for Making Cookies

Baking, decorating, and, of course, eating cookies is amazingly fun and extremely tasty.  However, to make your cookie experience the best it can be, several rules should be followed.

Rule Number One:  Ask Mom at any time other than a convenient time.  Inconvenience is the spice that makes cookie making and eating most delicious.  When she's doing chores is an excellent time to ask, but the most superior time to ask is near the end of a very busy day when she has sat down to take a few precious moments of rest and relaxation (if she's turned on a television show or is reading a book or a magazine makes it a diamond-studded time).  If she says no, or even worse, that we'll do it later, the next step is vital.  Make her feel like not to do so would ruin your life forever.  Moms mostly feel guilt for two reasons: 1) they aren't spending good amounts of quality time with their kids, and 2) they have probably done something that hours of expensive therapy won't fix.  Play it up well.  Tell her you love spending time with her.  Tell her that you can learn from her.  Tell her that it's better than television.  Tell her anything that will guilt her into making the cookies right now.  If she wavers and doesn't say yes or no, discourse to her more reasons why you should.  For example, remind her of how long it's been since you've made cookies, even if you just made them a day or two ago.  Don't forget Manners!  Manners are absolutely vital.  Saying "please," "if you don't mind," or "may we" go a long way toward getting a "yes" out of Mom.

Rule Number Two:  If you can at all swing it, ask to have a friend join you.  Two kids are harder for a mother to handle, and thus the fun is increased in magnitude.  Your chosen friend should have less experience at baking than you do.  You can say you want your friend to have the same experience you have and that you can help them learn.  Of course, you teach them your way and these rules.  If Mom doesn't agree, save it for another time.  Don't sweat it and don't give her a hard time; she might deny you the entire privilege.

Rule Number Three:  Do as little of the actual baking as possible.  Everyone knows that food always tastes better when someone else cooks it.  Stand very near on a stool and look as interested as possible. With any luck, you'll simply get a lesson without actually doing anything.  If you can't get out of helping, make sure to make as big a mess as possible.  A few suggestions:  Hold the measuring spoons and cups sideways.  Mom will  have to straighten them and will probably have a few choice words for you, but it might just get you out of having to do the work.  Stir as fast as possible; cookies contain flour, which is very soft and light and will puff out in a cloud or spill out onto the counter very easily.  Ask to crack open the eggs.  This can be done over the counter or the floor but never over the bowl.  When the batter is made, make sure to get the spoon to lick.  This move is for two reasons: 1) raw cookie dough is very toothsome, and 2) you have the advantage of telling Mom that you helped her by cleaning the spoon.  She'll still have to wash it, but you at least will have helped her by getting the dough off it before washing.

Rule Number Four:  When the dough is ready to be rolled and cut into shapes, insist on rolling it out.  Rolling cookie dough is not easy, and Mom will probably want to help you.  Eventually, she'll get so frustrated with your ineptness that she'll do it herself.  The same with cutting.  Do it slowly and use the space you have to cut as inefficiently as possible.  The more times the dough has to be rolled, the greater the chances Mom will do it for you.  But be careful.  You don't want to overdo this.  Too much frustration on Mom's part might land you in the no-cookies-again zone.  You don't want that.  So you might have to make some effort to roll and cut correctly and efficiently.  It's not so much fun, but you increase your chances at future fun by making a little effort at this time.

Rule Number Five:  Use as much frosting and as many sprinkles as is humanly possible when it comes time to decorate the cookies.  Mom may insist on frosting the cookies herself.  Try to get her to let you (after all, you can sneak a few mouthfuls of frosting while you are creating your works of art), but don't put too much effort into it.  Sprinkles are even more fun and less work.  DO NOT under any circumstances actually sprinkle the sprinkles.  Don't let the name deceive you; sprinkles are for DUMPING or POURING, not delicately sprinkling.  You should have a waterfall, not a mister.  If Mom is smart, she'll make you use a tray with sides to decorate your cookies.  If you like to eat sprinkles in large quantities without the cookie, this is a blessing.  The tray hold the sprinkles in one place when you dump them.  After the decorating is done, you can then get a spoon and eat up the sprinkles.  Mom wouldn't want you to waste them, of course, because waste is sinful.  If you like to make a mess, the tray is your nemesis.  Therefore, you must put the cookies as near to the edge as possible in order to dump sprinkles both on the cookies and the floor or table.  You must use some slight of hand here; you don't want Mom to catch you dumping sprinkles on the floor.

Last but not least, Rule Number Six:  Make sure you get to eat at least one during or as soon as you've finished decorating.  Why go through all that work and not get instant gratification?

There.  Now you have the rules for making cookies.  Best of luck to you, and remember, practice makes perfect.  Cookies never go out of style and are always good for filling an empty belly, so you can never have too many.